i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
