cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
