JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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