a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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