Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
