dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
