i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You pole danced in your parka.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
