I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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