I just cut my nipple shaving
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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