wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
