Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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