You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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