Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
