I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
