I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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