We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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