no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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