too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
