He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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