I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
