dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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