I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
