You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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