The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
