Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
