For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
