You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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