I just saw a hot homeless man
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got inside last night via doggy door
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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