I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
