discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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