how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
