How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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