i can't believe i had my finger in that
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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