I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
