if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
