Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
40s are totally the cure
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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