i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My cat gives me a boner
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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