he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry about my life...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
