Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
