i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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