I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
