plz talk dirty to me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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