Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
