we have pet lesbian snakes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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