So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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