She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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