he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
