There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
