Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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