PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
