you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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